On Sleep (and apparently other things)

I haven't been sleeping too well lately. My mind seems to be keeping me from reaching deep sleep because it wants to be able to spring to life at a moment's notice. My conciousness is a minute man with no war to fight. The British are not coming.

Too many times have I slept through/sleepwalked to turn off my alarm that I am now afraid of oversleeping. This is not to mention that my ears seem to remain focused on my cat so that I am not surprised by her rampaging through the window onto my face with claws out because she is in the middle of a cat fight. I close the window at night now to avoid this, but it has left me focusing on her to detect whether or not she's about to go to the bathroom on the carpet because she hasn't gotten used to not being able to go out at night.

It's just one of many reasons I need a vacation. I need to run off to a place where I can sleep in for a while and not have to worry about needing to get up for any reason. Oh how nice that would feel. Special bonus if the place has trees, because trees rock. Walking trees, though, don't rock as much.

I was planning to go to Washington DC this summer, and I'm still "planning" it but I keep having to push the trip back for one reason or another. First it was not having the funds ready in time, then it was my older brother deciding to take me to an Elton John concert for my birthday, then it was a surprise weekend trip to Carlsbad Caverns in June (I'm NOT going out there in May when there are so many movies I want to see) and after June... well I need to be looking at apartments majorly if any haven't jumped out at me then. So yeah... I'm still going to go. I'm commited to the notion especially since it might be my last chance of a vacation for a thousand years given that once I do have my own place I will be poor. But oh a vacation, I needeth.

Though despite the nuisances with having to get up early every day life has felt pretty good and someone has made me feel more at ease. The counter to this is that I feel less at ease when not around this person... a -1 to strength, if you will, but it's a worthy trade off. Secretly I wonder if I'm getting ahead of myself with my feelings because I've only known her for about a month but she seems too right, as it were, and then I feel stupid for being overly critical of me for picking on what I like. And I get ahead of myself regarding 'will this person enjoy my company in a year, in five years' and so on, but it's hard to dismiss things that infiltrate the mind when they're directly connected to an emotion.

So some sleep, it would seem, would do me some good. They say the brain needs to dream and sort stuff out in the unconcious and while I've been remembering more dreams than usual I'm sure the healing of the conciousness a deep sleep provides is really something I need to sort things out. Though maybe this is all a lesson for me. That I should stop trying to sort evertyhing out and just live for a bit and let things be. This goes against the nature of men, is the problem, you see.

And maybe someday sleep will help me remember to form complete sentences.